What you need to know:

  • Pokemon Go announced as an Olympic Sport at Rio in 2016
  • Synchronised swimming has been axed to make way for Pokemon
  • Jarryd Hayne hoping to achieve dream of representing Australia in the sport
  • Concerns about Russian doping affecting their players performance

On the eve of the Rio Olympics, the International Olympic Committee has controversially announced that Pokemon Go will be a medal sport at the Games this year.

The last minute addition has thrown Rio Olympics organisers into a tailspin as they attempt to expand the Olympic village to include the hundreds of nerds who will now descend on the city to play Pokemon for Gold, Silver and Bronze.

pokemon-olympic
Looks like they are actually serious about this.

Even more controversially, the sport of synchronised swimming has been axed to make way for the augmented reality video game.

“Don’t worry, we’re just replacing one ridiculous sport with another,” IOC President Thomas Bach told reporters at a press conference to announce the change.  “We’ve agreed for years that synchronised swimming is a bit of a joke, so why not get rid of one waste of time, and put another, more modern, waste of time in its place.”

synchornised
Our synchronised swimming team is devastated at the news. The team is pictured here, searching for Pokemons at the bottom of the pool.

The Australian synchronised swimming team is said to be devastated at the news, with many of the competitors thought to be retraining in Pokemon Go, so that they might still be able to represent their country.  The team believes that they would be particularly adept at catching Pokemons located in water.  But they may face sine fierce competition.

HAYNE’S LIFELONG DREAM

Broken News understands that Jarryd Hayne has expressed an interest in representing Australia in Pokemon in Rio.

“It’s his lifelong dream,” a friend of Hayne’s told Broken News.  “Ever since the game was released five days ago.”

READ MORE: Broken News catalogues Jarryd Hayne’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Hayne, who missed an opportunity to go to Rio with the Fijian rugby sevens team, is said to be in training to join the Australian team should the opportunity arise.

LIFELONG DREAM: Jarryd Hayne hopes to represent Australia in Pokemon.
LIFELONG DREAM: Jarryd Hayne hopes to represent Australia in Pokemon.

“He’ll bring strength and agility,” one Olympic insider told Broken News.  “And he’s got the speed to really shake those Pokemon nerds up”.

RUSSIAN DOPING

One fear about the introduction of Pokemon Go to the Olympics, is the risk of Russian doping.  “We’ve seen already so many of their athletes caught out cheating.  It’s only a matter of time before they work out a way to drug up to cheat the competition,” a former Olympic gold medalist told Broken News.

“And if it’s not doping, it will be hacking.  They’ll stop at nothing for a medal.”

SECURITY

With security already a risk at Rio, the organisers have been criticised for introducing a sport that would involve hundreds of competitors wandering aimlessly through favelas, totally distracted and carrying thousands of dollars worth of smartphones.

“It’s a recipe for disaster,” one Olympic source told Broken News.

No Australian Olympic officials would not comment to Broken News, with a receptionist telling us they were out playing Pokemon and that she didn’t know when they would be back in the office.

READ MORE: Broken News reports the Baird government considers banning Pokemon Go

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