American singer Meat Loaf is “excited and honoured” to perform the half-time entertainment at today’s presidential debate, following his stellar performance at the AFL Grand Final five years ago.
The Bat out of Hell star was at the time roundly criticised for his performance of I’d Do Anything for Love and responded to online critics by calling them “jerks and buttsniffers”. Broken News has been unable to confirm whether or not the critics were, in fact, buttsniffers.
Nonetheless, despite the 2011 calamity, Meat Loaf will take to the Presidential stage at half-time today to belt out a medley of his hits. He edged out other artists including Beyonce, U2, Coldplay and Pink! for the honour.
“Meatloaf wants to atone for the 2011 football incident,” his publicist told Broken News, “and what better way to do it than on the Presidential debate stage.”
“Although he doesn’t always make a lot of sense, we are confident that whatever Meatloaf says will make more sense than Trump.”
Asked to comment on the half-time entertainment, both the Republican and Democrat camps weighed in.
“Meatloaf? Love meatloaf. I have meatloaf all the the time,” Mr Trump tweeted. “Meatloaf are good people. Many meatloaves. Let’s make Meatloaf great again.”
A spokesperson for the Clinton campaign told Broken News that she had better things to do than respond to fake enquiries from fake online newspapers.