Malcolm Turnbull has let the stresses of a tough week just melt away after a dip in his personal money pool this afternoon.
Lowering himself into the infinity pool of golden coins at his harbourside mansion, Turnbull noted that the pool cleaner had failed to skim away some of the high value banknotes that bobbed on the surface as he attempted to swim laps.
The Prime Minister’s problems of poor leadership opinion polls, the same-sex marriage plebiscite and an unruly senate all seemed a distant memory as he performed tumble turns in his own personal riches.
“He tries to do it every Friday. It’s a great way for the Prime Minister to just leave the stresses and strains of the week behind,” a political insider told Broken News. “It’s also a good reminder for him to never give up, because even if he is dumped, he always has this enormous personal wealth to do fall back on and then do laps of backstroke in.”
It’s understood that the Mr Turnbull has used the money pool as a “pool of personal reflection”, ever since his failed attempt at a Republican referendum in 1999. It has given him comfort during highs and lows and was a great comfort during his exodus as a backbencher just a few short years ago.