Controversial news website The Daily Mail has announced it will launch a print edition in Australia, catering solely to the toilet paper market.
While other publications are focussing primarily on their digital strategies, the celebrity-driven site says its print publication will begin appearing on toilet roll holders from early 2017.
The website has gained notoriety these past few years for its salacious celebrity stories, its new and ever-more ridiculous ways to describe outfits worn by C-grade celebs to the shops (while still including the keywords derriere, pert, flaunt and ample) and knocking off stories from other news sources who actually go to the trouble of investing in journalism.
Media strategist Duncan Allan told Broken News that converting the digital stories into a printed toilet paper edition is a masterstroke for the publisher.
“People have been calling the website a sh*t sheet for years, so this is their opportunity to literally wipe the arse with the stories that the publication produces which they hate so much.”
“Until now, if you wiped your bum with the Daily Mail in Australia, you would leave nasty stains on your computer, phone or tablet. Now that no longer has to be the case.”
The toilet paper edition will feature a digest of the site’s top stories, printed and home delivered daily.
The website says that the additional revenue from selling its publication will pay for much needed replacement keyboards in its newsroom.
“We have literally worn out all the Ctrl C and Ctrl V buttons from copying the work of other news websites so we desperately need new keyboards,” one employee told Broken News.
“It will be handy to have some new keyboards ASAP because one of the chicks from The Bachelor literally just posted a new Instagram photo and we need to get a story up on it soon.”