You might have read elsewhere in the news this week that a doctor without qualifications went undetected in Sydney for 11 years!

He’s allegedly fled the country, but the whole episode has made us wonder…how can you really tell if your doctor is fake.

Well, ask yourself these questions…

Can you read their writing on your prescription?

 

If you can read their writing, this is the first sign that you may have just visited a “fake doctor”.  Everyone knows that the only people who can read a doctor’s writing are pharmacists.  At least we hope they can read it.

Does your doctor look like this?

If so, they are not a doctor, they are actually worker at McDonalds.  In fact, you are not even in a doctor’s surgery, you are in a McDonalds drive-thru.  An easy way to tell the difference is that there are lots of drive-thru Maccas, but no drive-thru doctors surgeries. (If you spend too long here, you will need a doctor).

Does their Medicare swipe machine look like this?

If so, they are not a doctor.  This is a toy.  They are probably a child aged between 3-5 years.  We should point out though that it is perfectly safe to swipe your Medicare card on this particular machine, if it will make the child happy.  It is not a professional skimming device and will not store any of your data.

Is your kneebone connected to their wristwatch?

If after surgery, your kneebone is connected to a red thing, which is connected to your alleged doctor’s wristwatch, then you may be the victim of a fake doctor from the hit TV show, The Simpsons.  Beware at all costs.

Are they very famous and do they do a lot of rapping?

This is a tough one.  On one hand, this gentlemen is Dr Dre, but while he is a skilled lyricist and multi platinum selling artist and producer, he is unable to offer you any medical expertise.  Listen to his records, but do not follow his advice about your cholesterol medication.

Are they a breezy summer afternoon in Perth?

Again, another tricky one.  Although this climactic condition is lovingly referred to as the Fremantle Doctor, it is actually just a cooling afternoon sea breeze which is experienced during the summer months.  As wind formations are unable to offer medical advice, we have to recommend you don’t waste your time with this doctor.

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