Special forces protecting the Malcolm Turnbull have been forced to don their gas masks after a reeking fart of epic proportions was delivered by the Prime Minister during a press conference earlier today
The forces were stationed adjacent to Mr Turnbull, presumably to protect him from attacks within his own party, when an audible noise was heard emanating from the Prime-Ministerial bum trumpet during a press conference in Sydney.
The fart was so intense that it was recorded by earthquake technicians at several Geoscience Australia tracking posts.
“At first we thought it was a medium-sized quake measuring between 4 and 5 on the richter scale, but further investigations have shown it was more than likely an enormous fart,” a Geoscience Australia spokeswoman told Broken News.
At the press conference location, specially trained troops who were behind the Prime Minister at the time immediately went into drill-mode, applying their training to defend against chemical attacks.
“Being directly behind the PM at the time, these brave men and women were in the direct line of fire from the attack,” a defence insider told Broken News. “The pungent smell was so bad at first, that we assumed we must be under chemical attack from terrorists or a foreign power and went straight into drill mode.”
“Our training is to immediately apply PPE, in this case gas masks, so that we are able to continue our protective strategies and get VIP’s to safety.”
Shortly after the initial blast of wind, and with journalists fainting from the noxious fumes, the Prime Minister claimed immediate responsibility for the attack.
“I need to lead from the front on this one and be upfront with the Australian people in saying that I am responsible,” said Mr Turnbull, breaking with his usual tradition of blaming Tony Abbott for anything going wrong.