The troubled Australian media industry has been saved by an $89 vacuum cleaner with an amazing ability to hoover up more clicks, likes and shares than ever before. With more than 100 articles published on the famed K-Mart vacuum in the past 24 hours alone, traffic figures are through the roof for the nation’s news providers, leading to strong advertising growth.
Every website in the country has been clamouring for an interview with the K-Mart vacuum, which we’re told outperforms all of the more expensive Dyson models. The round-the-clock coverage of the vacuum cleaner has seen it sell out of most stores across the country.
“This vacuum has the ability to get into even the smallest crevices on the internet and hoover up more eyeballs than you could ever imagine possible,” one website editor told Broken News. “We have got more clicks on this story than anything else since the $9 toaster story in April.”
Broken News understands that at least one news website will appoint a full time “K-Mart Reporter” to cover all of the hot bargains and amazing specials that the shopping chain has to offer.
Concerningly, several websites reported that people were “losing their minds” over the amazing vacuum cleaner. If true, that would certainly be a worrying mental health epidemic, according to medical experts.
“If people are losing their minds, the websites have a responsibility to include phone numbers for support services,” a representative of the Australian Psychological Association told Broken News.
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